loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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