He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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