How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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