thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
