Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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