.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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