my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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