I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
