New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
love makes seman taste better
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
This baby is an asshole
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
