Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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