His hands were made for my vagina.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
