hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
