She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
