I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
