I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
