Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wish i was in the wii world.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
