remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
