bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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