Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Watching her eat just hurts me
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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