At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
