literally had 100 drinks last night.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize