I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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