Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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