my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
