it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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