That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
