I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
