I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
