Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
