I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
