$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
