I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I smell stomach acid.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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