I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
ttyl tear gas
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
