hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
