Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
