I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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