once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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