I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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