dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
