i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
