my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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