He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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