He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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