Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
