i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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