hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
