so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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