guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
