8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
