this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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