haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
