Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
