You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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