I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
