Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Barsexuality is the new black.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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