I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
