i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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