My first STD was from a foam party
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
