Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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