I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
