none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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