She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
