What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
