I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
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Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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