i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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