Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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